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In
their eagerness to leave foster care, young people often underestimate how difficult
it can be to live on their own. For more than 10 years, staff at Represent,
the magazine written by and for teens in foster care, have watched young people
charge off to their own apartments and then be surprised at how lonely they are.
Or land their first job, and then quit due to conflicts with bosses. They are
surprised to learn that being emotionally prepared is as important as having
practical skills.
Anger, depression, loneliness, shame and other
emotions make it difficult for teens to form healthy relationships. Practicing
good hygiene, managing money and performing other chores depend on their ability
to manage their emotions. But it’s especially challenging to prepare young
people for this side of life after care.
Why This
Book Works
Do You Have What It Takes? helps young people
understand and address these challenges.
The stories are written by veterans
of the foster care system who have “been there,” struggled, and learned.
The ands-on activities will help prepare teens for the practical and emotional
challenges they will face on the road to independence.
How
to Use This Book
This book explores eight critical topics:
• Money management
• Jobs
• Getting an apartment
• Building a support system
• Navigating sex and relationships
• Hygiene and health
• Options after care
• Making a plan
for leaving care that includes realistic goals In
each chapter, you will find personal stories, “how to” stories, and
interviews with experts.
“How to”
stories:
• How to Ace Your Job Interview, p. 68
•
How to Keep Your Job, p. 81
• How to Find Your Own Place, p. 100
• How to Know When to Seek Out Therapy, p. 136
• How to Stay Fresh,
p. 153
• How to Keep Your Teeth Clean, p. 155
• How to Clean
Clothes, p. 171
• How to Eat Healthy, p. 179
• How to Stay Cool
When a Relationship Gets Hot, p. 195
• How to Find an Internship, p.
257
• How to Get a Green Card, p. 268
• Two Things Not to Forget
When Applying to College, p. 277
Advice From Experts
on:
• Shopping smart, p. 44
• Managing work relations,
p. 76
• Preparing for life’s emotional challenges, p. 131
•
Eating healthy, p. 160
• Applying to college, p. 274 Each
chapter also includes an activity that you can use with groups of young people
and worksheets young people can use on their own. Activites:
What
Is Independent Living? p. 28
Learning to Budget, p. 52
Acing a Job Interview,
p. 82
How to Find and Keep an Apartment, p. 109
Identifying a Support Network,
p. 146
Making a Self-Care Plan, p. 162
Laundry, p. 174
Cleaning Your
Apartment Cheaply, p. 184
Safe Sex and Abstinence, p. 238
Exploring Options
for Life After Care, p. 279 Worksheets:
Do
You Have What It Takes to Be on Your Own? p. 21
My Budget, p. 54
My Job
Interview, p. 84
My First Apartment, p. 112
My Support System, p. 147
My
Self-Care Plan, p. 163
My Recipes, p. 181
How Clean Is Your Crib? p. 186
You’re
Leaving Care, What’s Next? p. 251
My Goals for Independence, p. 289
My
Plan for Independence, p. 298
Thought-provoking questions throughout
the book help teens clarify their goals, values, and plans for leaving care.
Think
About It:
pp. 30, 46, 75, 130, 240
There is also a certificate
at the end of the book on p. 307 to reward teens who successfully complete all
worksheets. Whether
you work with groups or individual teens, all the stories provide rich material
for discussion. Here are four ways you can use the stories and lessons.
1.
Use the Stories With Teens in Groups
Teens
(like the rest of us) often resist facing their issues. Using the stories in groups
can help young people face difficult issues in a way that feels safe to them.
That’s because talking about the issues in the stories feels safer to teens
than talking about those same issues in their own lives. The stories allow for
some personal distance; they hit close to home, but not too close. As teens gain
comfort talking about the issues in the stories, they usually become more comfortable
talking about those issues in their own lives.
The activity pages in this
book are designed to stimulate discussion around the stories and issues they address.
They also provide hands-on activities for teaching independent living skills.
2.
Use the Stories With Individual Teens
If a teen in your program
or caseload is dealing with an issue raised in a story or chapter in this book,
consider giving the teen a copy of this book and telling him or her that you thought
the story might be of interest. You can give it to the teen in the spirit of “read
it if you like,” or you can tell the teen that you want to talk about the
story. Teens say that reading the stories makes them feel less alone and more
hopeful about meeting life’s challenges. Adults often tell us that teens
open up about their fears and concerns after reading a story. If you decide to
talk with the teen about the story, the questions on pages 15 and 16 may be helpful.
This book also has worksheet pages which a motivated teen can complete on her
own.
3. Use the Stories With Individual Staff
Stories
in this book can also be used to train staff, as well as foster parents, about
the challenges facing youth preparing to leave care. Adults working with teens
in foster care say that reading the stories gives them new insights into what
teens are thinking and feeling as they struggle their way towards independence,
as well as new strategies for working with teens.
4.
Use the Stories in Classes or Workshops With Adult Staff
The
stories can be treated like case studies. Have staff or foster parents read and
discuss them in the spirit of, “If I had this teen on my caseload, or in
my classroom or program, or in my home, how would I feel? What would be challenging
to me? What questions would I ask? What interventions would I use? What services
would I consider? How else might I be helpful?”
General
Tips for Using the Stories With Teens or Adults
Reading
and discussing a story can help staff and teens gain greater insight into complex
issues about becoming independent. Below are discussion questions that can help
teens and staff reflect on the issues raised by the stories. In most cases you
can read a story and have a discussion in one 45-minute session. At Represent,
we usually read a story aloud, which takes about 10-15 minutes if you read it
straight through. However, it’s often very productive to let workshop participants
make comments as you go along. The workshop leader may even want to annotate her
copy of the story with key questions to prompt discussion at important points.
In
starting a discussion after reading the story, we have found that asking a few
simple factual questions can break the ice. (Who is the main character? How old
is she? What life skill is she struggling with? How did she respond?) Another
good starting question is: “What stood out for you in the story?” Go
around the room letting each person briefly mention one thing.
You can
then move on to open-ended questions, which encourage participants to think more
deeply about what the writers were feeling, the choices they faced, and they actions
they took. There are no right or wrong answers to the open-ended questions.
Open-ended
questions encourage the teens (or staff) in your workshop to think about how the
themes, emotions and choices in the stories relate to their own lives. Here are
some examples of open-ended questions that we have found to be effective. You
can use variations of these questions with almost any story in this book. •
What main problem or challenge did the young person face?
• What choices
did the young person have in trying to deal with the challenge?
• Which
way of dealing with the challenge was most effective for the young person? Why?
•
What strengths, skills, or resources did the young person use or gain? How did
the young person gain or learn about those strengths, skills, or resources?
•
If you were in the young person’s shoes, what would you have done?
•
What could adults have done to better help this young person?
• What have
you learned by reading this story? What have you learned that you didn’t
know before?
• What surprised you in this story?
• What, if anything,
would you do differently after reading this story?
• Do you have a different
view of this issue, or see a different way of dealing with it, after reading this
story? Why or why not?
• For adult staff only: If you had this
young person on your caseload, or in your foster home, what would you have done
to assist him or her? |
