FCYU-Feature Story

Getting Somewhere
Two California youth describe the challenges of leaving care.

As told to Janeen Mullins

Planning My Future

When I left the system I was worried about becoming financially stable. So a few months before I turned 18 and signed myself out, I had saved up enough money to live for three months and I made sure that I had a place to stay. It's important to plan ahead and not assume everything is going to fall into place.

I was planning to go to college, and when I filled out my FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid), I realized that being in foster care made me eligible for lots of grants and scholarships. When I got to Stanford University, those loans and scholarships helped me out with housing, books, food and toiletries.

I also worked a lot. I held a lot of different campus jobs, including one at the sporting goods store. Now I work part-time at the housing office.

Ever since high school I've worked hard and kept records of how much money I've earned and spent. I looked on the Internet to learn how to make a budget, which helped me keep track of my money. It was pretty much trial and error, but I'm pretty sure I'll be able to graduate without debt.

When I get my English degree, I want to go to graduate school and eventually become a teacher or administrator. As long as you have goals you can get somewhere. If you have no goals, you have nothing to strive for.

—Jose Mosqueda, 22
Stanford, California
Full time student

Learning to Trust

When I got out of care, romance and all kinds of relationships seemed so scary! In care, I never stayed in one place long enough to trust anybody, so when I went out into the world I gave the people who were trying to get to know me a hard time. I was scared of having relationships with people who would be gone the next day.

I put people through little tests to see if they could be trusted. I wouldn't call them back to see if they would call me. Or I would tell them a little about my foster care and group home background to see if they saw me as an individual. A few people were fixated on my past, but most accepted me for me.

I wouldn't share my emotions with my boyfriend and wouldn't tell him I loved him. He'd just say, "You'll love me one day!"

He had a lot of walls to break down. For one date, I stood him up on purpose just to see if he would call me the next day… and he did! We just made plans to go out again.

When I realized that most people accepted me, I opened up. I have a really good support system of friends, and my relationships with my siblings are very strong. I've been with my boyfriend 12 years now. He wants to get married. I'm working on getting comfortable with that.

The other issue I had was working too much. My whole life was work because I didn't know how to relax. All I heard in care was, "Did you save your money?" and "Being on your own is expensive." No one ever told me how to balance my life, and it took me awhile to learn that working wasn't more important than love and connection.

I took my first vacation at the age of 25. I went with one of my sisters to Jamaica and it was beautiful and relaxing. Since then, I've been to The Bahamas, Mexico, Hawaii and Canada. I'm making up for lost time!

—Tiffany Johnson, 29
Vallejo, CA
Communications Coordinator for California Youth Connection