FCYU-Feature Story

Trying to Understand
Why some teens become sex offenders and how they can stop.

By Anonymous

Being a victim of sexual abuse was a traumatic experience and has been difficult for me to cope with. For years I hated the world for what my father did to me. I couldn't understand how he or any parent could brutally abuse his child.

Over time, as my anger quieted down, I grew curious about what would drive someone to sexually abuse a child. Though nothing could justify the actions of my father or anyone else who sexually abuses a child, I wanted at least to understand what leads others like him to abuse, and what abusers can do to get help. I hoped understanding would bring me closure and help me cope with my own memories of the abuse.

So I interviewed Terry DeCrescenzo, the executive director of GLASS, an organization that runs several group homes in California. One of the homes is for teens who've "engaged in sexually inappropriate conduct," including sexually abusing children.

Before I interviewed her, I was surprised to find out that teens sometimes sexually abuse children. When we talked I found out that it's often because the teens don't know another way to handle feelings from the sexual abuse they went through themselves.

Q: What are some reasons why teens might become sex offenders?

A: Well, adolescents behave that way for a number of reasons. The first is that, if they themselves were abused sexually when they were younger, they might end up offending because they begin to think that that's the way people are supposed to behave.

Others may know better but go ahead anyway and behave the way they have been treated because they have a feeling of wanting to get even by doing it to someone else.

Sometimes it's simply because of opportunity-they're in a certain place at a certain time, they become sexually aroused and they don't have the maturity to refrain from the behavior.

For some, mental illness drives them, some drug abuse, some because of developmental delays. There's almost as many reasons as sex offenders.

Q: Is it true that offenders were usually sexually abused themselves?

A: Well, it's true that many people, if not most, who sexually abuse were themselves sexually abused. But that does not mean that a history of abuse makes it likely you will abuse sexually. If that were true, then our country would be overrun with sexual abusers, especially women. But it's not. Most people who were sexually abused do not go on to abuse others.

Q: What steps can sex offenders, especially teens, take to recover?

A: There's a standard model of treatment that I am fond of.

The first step is to help the offender understand that if they used coercion, intimidation, physical violence, or threats of violence to overwhelm a younger, weaker person, that's abuse.

They begin the path to recovery only when they fully accept the abuse was their fault 100%. Not 98%, not 99% but 100%. They are the ones who could've and should've made better choices. That's what it starts with.

The second step is victim empathy. The offender has to empathize with the victim at a feeling level. That means not just realizing that they victimized someone, but really feeling the enormity of what they've done and how the person suffered psychologically, emotionally and physically. They need to feel that it's a very, very traumatic experience for someone to be sexually abused.

That's very difficult and challenging. Many people, sadly, spend their whole lives trying to recover.

Q: How can sexual offenders take those steps?

A: For one, anyone who has sexually abused someone, or even thought about sexually abusing someone, certainly needs therapy.

Another part of treatment is often "restorative justice," which, can allow the victim to safely and directly confront the offender. It's not always possible, because when given the opportunity to confront the offender, even in a restorative, safe environment, many victims will decline because they feel so traumatized. Also, it can only happen if the offender fully admits his responsibility for the abuse.

But if the victim can safely confront the offender, it tends to be very healing. The offender can articulate sorrow and regret, and demonstrate his or her own ability to understand the tremendous harm they did.