FCYU-Feature Story

A Mother's Touch
Massage can help you bond with your baby.

By Natasha Santos

One afternoon last spring, eight teens gathered in a circle for a class on baby massage at Inwood House, a group home for pregnant and parenting teens in New York City. Amy Cooper, a therapist, had come here from California to teach massage to moms in foster care.

Amy had a calm voice and mild manner. She told the group that baby massage is a way to help moms and their babies more strongly connect. It's a good tool to help regulate your baby's tension and stress, and helps babies sleep more and cry less.

Touch as Therapy

One girl in the group seemed really surprised and slightly nervous about the idea that babies liked to be touched.

"Some of us have negative experiences with touch, like if it was used to punish us," Amy said. She suggested that baby massage could be therapeutic: "To moms who haven't had good experiences, baby massage can be a positive way to respond to your baby when he or she is upset. Rather than neglecting or hurting your baby, you could massage. It's like changing the cycle."

Preparing Your Baby

All of the girls in the group were pregnant except the mother of 7-month-old Madison. When her mom tried to begin giving her a massage, Madison wasn't too attentive. She was more interested in the taste and feel of her feet, and kept putting them in her mouth. Finally, Madison's mom placed her hands on Madison's belly. Madison made eye contact with her mom when she did that and her mom was able to begin the massage.

Amy used a baby doll to demonstrate some massage techniques for the stomach, arms, legs and chest. She said that it was good to get a non-petroleum-based oil (like vegetable or olive oil) so your touch feels smooth to the baby.

Start by rubbing your hands together and asking your baby permission to perform the massage, even if the baby can't respond yet. "You want to make sure that your baby is ready to receive touch," she said.

Techniques for Massage

Some techniques she showed us were simple, like Indian Milking, which is using two hands to firmly but gently rub your baby's leg from the hip to the ankle. Walking was also very simple; with your palms on the top of your baby's foot use your two thumbs to walk from the heel of his/her foot to the toes. Amy said there are thousands of nerves in the feet so it can be very relaxing. A good way to relax the joints (ankles, wrists and knees) is by firmly but gently making small circles around them with your thumb and index finger.

The face massages are pretty easy, like the Open Book, which is rubbing your fingers back and forth from your baby's brow to their temple. You can gently rub your thumb over your baby's eyes if he or she permits it. For sinuses you can gently push up on the bridge of the nose and then down across the cheek. When massaging your baby's face, don't use any oil and avoid feathering the cheeks (light brushing with fingertips). That tickles and isn't relaxing.

Amy also showed us some back massages. Rubbing both of your hands back and forth across the back is relaxing for babies. Swooping your hands to their bottoms or ankles is also very good.

Baby Boundaries

Amy told us that babies communicate with you and the environment through their body language. She explained that when a baby is communicating irritation or annoyance, it's usually because the baby is overwhelmed or uncomfortable, not because they don't like you.

"Some of us get disappointed when we're looking at our baby and he or she looks away. It's not that they're rejecting you, but they're saying 'That was a lot to take in, give me a moment.'" Amy said that, like us, babies have their boundaries and levels of closeness and comfort.

She demonstrated this with one of the girls. She asked the girl to walk toward her, and when Amy felt uncomfortable with the closeness, she told her to stop. Then she and the girl switched roles. The girl definitely preferred more space than Amy! We all giggled, but it was true: everyone has their own boundaries that make them feel comfortable.

Ways to Relax

Amy emphasized that massage is a way for both the baby and the mom to relax. She told the girls that it's important that they take care of themselves, too. On airplanes, she reminded us, the mom is instructed to put her air mask on first and then cover the child's mouth, because without her mom a baby is helpless.

Amy suggested that singing is a good way to relax yourself and your baby before and during a massage. At the end of our class, she asked us to put one hand on our bellies and the other on our hearts while singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

"No matter how well or how badly you sing, your baby loves your voice," she said, explaining that studies show that babies recognize their mothers' voices.

Toward the end of her massage, Madison got restless and began giggling. She squirmed while her mom tried to massage her face, and her mom had to stop.

"That's OK," Amy said. She explained that massage is simply a way of connecting and relaxing, and every baby has her own limits. "She's showing you she's had enough."

For more information on massage techniques, you can visit www.makewayforbaby.com. You might also want to check out the book Baby Massage: The Calming Power of Touch, by Alan Heath and Nicki Bainbridge.