FCYU-Feature Story

Intro: Being accepted at a college is a major accomplishment, but staying in college and earning a degree means mastering a whole new set of skills and facing new challenges—some exciting, some overwhelming.

Statistics show that students in care (or who recently aged out) often have a particularly hard time adjusting to the financial, academic and personal demands of college. Let’s face it, college can be difficult for anyone, so going through all that while you’re aging out is tough. We’ve put together some words of wisdom from our alumni writers to help you build your own strategies for success.

Detour to Success
Delaying college helped me grow

By Jarel Melendez, as told to Represent

I was always big into education. I knew that’s what would take me out of the foster care system and out of my surroundings, but I didn’t think college was for me. I felt like I wouldn’t fit in. I guess it had a lot to do with being in care. I worked really, really hard to keep up my grades in high school and because it was such a struggle, I felt like college was above me, like I wouldn’t measure up. My mentors pushed me to fill out college applications. They pushed me to do the SAT. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise. I was intimidated.

I ended up graduating second in my high school class with a 3.6 grade point average and I was so proud of myself. Still, college was not on my mind. I had landed a job at H&M, and my job was my life. I was like, “Oh, I got H&M. I’m doing it!” I became a manager with H&M within a year, which is unheard of in the retail business, and you couldn’t tell me nothing. But eventually I listened to people and applied to college a year later, in 2005.

I wanted to attend a historically black university. I applied to Xavier University, all the way in Louisiana. Xavier accepted me and I got financial aid from them, but I had to get loans to pay for the remainder. In August of 2005, I was about to go off to college when Hurricane Katrina struck and my university got flooded. So I went back to telling everybody, “I told you college ain’t for me!” At that point, nobody could convince me. I was set. I wasn’t going to college. I was staying at H&M.

A Change in Plan

But then Baruch College (here in New York) called me up and said they were very inspired by my essay, which I wrote about my foster care experience. I don’t know how my application traveled around to them. I think my mentor might have had something to do with it. He’s been my mentor for years, and he’s like a father to me.

I was offered full-paid tuition to attend Baruch. I thought, “OK, it’s free. Why not? I’ll go.” But at the same time I had applied for an Americorps program called City Year, because I wanted to devote a year of my life to community service. I was kind of sad because I didn’t think that Baruch would defer the scholarship, but they did. Still, I had some lingering doubts about going to college.

Americorps was so good for me. I really learned about myself. I worked in an elementary school for a whole year listening to kids and seeing them every day. I saw a lot of me in them. They would tell me, “I’m not going to college.” The kids were saying they were unhappy in the projects, unhappy with their families. Just like my mentor had done with me, I told them that college would get them out of their surroundings. And then I was like, “Wait—I’ve got to practice what I’m preaching to these kids.”

Practice What I Preach

That’s when I thought, “Baruch is a start.” I graduated from the Americorps program last June and I’m about to start college. Wish me luck, because I’m also going to be working full time. I’m going to major in business marketing and minor in journalism. I’m so ready!

Thinking back, I wouldn’t have been ready for Xavier in 2005. Even though I wanted to go far away from home, I would’ve been scared. It would have been my first time away from family, friends and my mentor.

Joining the Americorps program before I went to college helped me because I got to be around young people (ages 16 to 24) from really different backgrounds. Some already had a college degree, some had their GED, some were high school graduates, some were in the process of getting their college degree. It opened my eyes and inspired me to want to get my degree, too.

There’s Always a Choice
It wasn't the fast track, but I stuck it out.

By Xavier Reyes, as told to Represent

In high school I lived in a group home, and a lot of staff and counselors there had high hopes for me. I was in special education but I fought to get out so that I could graduate at 16.

I attended an alternative high school that had smaller classes. I really liked that. And the teachers focused on me; they wanted to see me excel. I paid attention in class, and I knew how to use words well. My college counselor told me I needed to apply for scholarships. That was a big thing: having people at my back who encouraged me.

Back then, the things that worried me about college were my lack of money, doubts about whether I could handle it academically, and my own stigma about being in foster care. Plus I was thinking about aging out of care and wondering what I was going to do. I didn’t want to leave one system just to end up in the welfare system.

Three Schools and a Job

I graduated salutatorian and I was accepted to Pace University. I enrolled at Pace, but I wasn’t ready for it. I soon dropped out.

I’d received a renewable $1,000 scholarship from the United Federation of Teachers to attend Pace. After I dropped out, I lost that. I continued working, but I felt pressure from everyone—friends, family, mentors—to go back to college. So five years after I graduated high school, I enrolled at a different college.

I was not making enough money, and every semester was a challenge. I resisted taking out loans. After a year I transferred to a community college. I hated it—it felt like high school. But I stuck it out for two semesters before I dropped out and went to work full-time.

Education or Survival?

I was definitely more concerned about my own livelihood than an education, because by then I was aging out of the system, and the comfort I had known with foster care was gone. So it was sort of pick and choose—do you want to be educated or do you want to survive? I wanted to survive. I needed to work and I needed a place to live. I needed to get myself together. School had to wait.

Eventually my home environment became more stable. I was living on my own and the bills were coming in, but I was in a much better mental state to handle school and the responsibilities that came with it. I applied to Baruch College and got a $20,000 scholarship. Baruch took about half the credits I’d earned already.

My scholarship paid for my tuition, but I had to pay for my own books and living expenses.

Money was always a problem and, because I was living independently, my choice was get a loan or drop out again. I didn’t want to take out loans, but in the end I had to. Looking back, loans aren’t really a bad thing. I’ve learned that an educational loan is really an investment in my own future.

Distinguish Yourself

I did my full four years at Baruch and finally graduated in May 2007 with a degree in Public Affairs. The whole time I worked full time and had a full class load.

Foster care always gave me the message that I didn’t have choices. The fact is there is always a choice. Today I sit on the committee that awarded me my scholarship to attend Baruch. I see a lot of applications that don’t show much effort. You can tell that an adult just told the kid to fill out the application, but the kid didn’t really try.

It’s the same thing in foster care. A lot of times, no one sits down with the students and helps them with their essay, makes sure that it looks “college ready.” No one’s guiding them. Their responses on the applications are very generic.

In college you have to distinguish yourself, especially if you want to get into a particular field or college. A little effort goes a long way. My advice would be to not wait for someone to show you the way when it comes to college. Ask and keep asking and put some time into figuring things out. It’s not easy, but in the end it really is you who has to make the choice.

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