What You See Isn't What You Get:
Don't Judge Me by My Short Skirt

By Marcia Persaud

I was going to a party with some friends and I was wearing a very short dress. As I walked down the street, guys were going crazy-making comments, whistling and blowing their car horns. I ignored them.

Then my friends and I reached a corner where a group of guys was hanging out. They started saying things to me like, "Hey baby, you look good," and "You look sexy."

One of the guys approached me and said, "Hi, sexy." When I did not answer, he said, "How much for a night?"

That last comment really upset me. I was being compared to a hooker just because I was wearing a short skirt.

A Comment I Couldn't Ignore

I thought that was outrageous. The other comments were annoying, but I had heard those things before. They didn't bother me that much.

But when that last guy talked to me like I was a prostitute, I felt he had crossed a line. He thought he could say anything and get away with it. He should get some respect for girls, I thought.

I stepped up to him and asked him to repeat what he said. He did. Then he asked me if I wanted to do something about it. My friends were saying, "Girl, don't take that. Show him what you can do!"

I Slapped Him

The guy said, "I know you don't have the guts to fight." I couldn't take anymore. I was very nervous but I went up to him and gave him a slap in the face.

My friends, the guy's friends, the people who were just passing by-everyone was stunned. They could not believe what I had done. I could hardly believe it myself.

I had never responded to guys before when they harassed me. I would just go my way, partly because I was very shy and partly because I was afraid that if I said anything back, they might want to harass me more.

Everyone who saw what happened started laughing at the guy and making fun of him. All the girls were saying, "Way to go!" to me and some of the guys were saying, "I wish my girlfriend was like you."

To cover up his embarrassment, the guy who started with me said he and his friends were coming after me later. But I wasn't scared. I knew they wouldn't be able to find me because I don't live around that area.

I'm Glad I Didn't Take It, But. . .

Looking back, I am glad that I did not back down. No one in my life ever said stuff like that to me, so I was determined to make it the first and the last time.

That experience made me want to fight for my rights and act proud to be a woman. It even encouraged me to go to the gym and start lifting weights so I would not have to be scared of guys anymore.

Before that, I was always scared to talk back to guys when they said things that I didn't like. Now I know that I don't have to walk by and take nasty treatment that I don't deserve, from people who don't even know me.

But that night, I didn't feel proud or brave. I felt awful, fearful and sorry at the same time. I never expected someone to say something like that to me, so I was not prepared for it. Afterwards, I was angry at the guy, but I was also angry at myself.

Should I Change How I Dress?

I didn't really think before I acted-what if he had had a weapon? Something more serious could have happened. And maybe if I hadn't worn that dress, I wouldn't have received those awful comments. Maybe I shouldn't wear such revealing clothes, I thought.

That's something I think about a lot. I love wearing sexy clothes. I think women should be proud of their bodies and show them off. And I find short skirts more comfortable than long skirts or jeans, especially when it is hot.

The problem is that a lot of people think they can tell something about you by the way you dress. That's not always true. You can wear sexy clothes but not be sexually active.

You Shouldn't Judge a Girl by Her Clothes

I don't have a boyfriend or hang out very late with my friends. I just like wearing short clothes.

Women should feel comfortable wearing whatever we want. There is no need for guys to try to make us feel bad.

Usually when guys say nasty or insulting things on the street, it's because they've tried to get your attention and you've ignored them.

They get mad, because their words have gone to waste, so they try to embarrass or shame you. Making a girl feel bad about herself must make them feel important.

It's Not Just Guys Who Insult Us

And it's not just guys who insult us and try to make us feel bad about ourselves. Other girls do it, too.

For example, when a girl goes out with a lot of guys or if she's slept with a lot guys she is considered a "slut" by other girls. Sometimes they'll call her that just because she's popular or dresses in a sexy way.

The only reason I can see why one woman would call another woman a slut is jealousy-she probably wishes guys were paying more attention to her. Or maybe she feels unattractive and is trying to build up her own self-esteem by tearing down someone else's.

I don't think it should bother other women if a girl dresses sexy or sleeps with a lot of guys, because it is not their business.

Don't Be Ashamed to Be Yourself

It's funny-if a guy has a lot of girlfriends or sleeps around he is considered a "Dude." Other guys encourage him and make him feel proud of what he is doing.

But if a girl has a lot of boyfriends or sleeps around, other girls will often insult her or try to make her feel ashamed.

Women should not be ashamed of being attractive or having sex. It's up to you to decide what you want do with your life. It doesn't matter whether you wear short skirts or baggy jeans, whether you're having sex or not.

Someone else will probably have something to say about it but just ignore them. It's your business. You should feel free to wear what you want and do what you want.