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Parental Expectations/
Demands (discussion activity)

Story: “Rookie Mistake,” by Mohammed Hussain, p.22

Objectives: To help students see that it’s OK to search for their own balance between respect for family expectations on the one hand, and their desires to be their own person on the other hand.

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Part 1, Warm Up: Tell your group that they are going to read a story about a young man who defies his Bengali family’s expectations and what happens afterward. First they will do a warm-up activity.

Split the group into teams and give them 2-3 minutes to make a list of things that teens do or want that their parents don’t approve of. When time is up, go around and have each team read their lists.

Ask students these questions and let them discuss these issues for 5-7 minutes:
“Why do parents disapprove of those things?”
“Why do teens want to do them?”
“Who should have the final say?”

Part 2, Reading the Story: Take turns reading the story aloud. When you come to these sentences in the story stop the reading and ask a discussion question.

Near the end of column 2: “I used to imagine what it would be like to be a typical American teenager, who did whatever he wanted—going home late, always hanging out with friends, indulging in materialistic desires.”

Ask the group if this is an accurate picture of American teens. Does it describe their lives? Where do they think Mohammed got this idea of the “typical American teenager?”

Near the end of the third column: “I knew I shouldn’t be here and lying to my mother was immoral.”

Why did he start feeling guilty? Was it wrong to lie in order to do something that was harmless and gave him so much enjoyment?

Near the end of the fifth column: “I had expected anger, but my mother’s face surprised me.”

What do you think the mother’s reaction will be?

Near middle of second column on page 23: “I may crave the freedom that American teens have, but I’ve also seen how freedom can cause problems.”

What problems do you think he will mention as we read on? Do you agree that too much independence can be a bad thing?

Last sentence of the article:  “Had my parents not been so strict, I might not have learned how to take good care of myself.”

When is it good for parents to be strict? Have you ever thanked your parents for being strict or bossy or demanding?

Part 3 (if you have time): Hand out blank pieces of paper. Ask each teen to write one thing they have considered doing—or might consider doing in the future—that they think their family would disapprove of. They should not put their names on the paper.

Then, underneath the thing they have written, they have to write one benefit of taking the action (such as greater independence), and one negative consequence (such as anger from parents) that might result from taking that action.

Collect the comments and read them out loud. Ask for reactions from the group to the kinds of things that teens may do. Do the benefits outweigh the costs? (The goal of this activity is to help the students think about how they want to respond when two important values are in conflict —personal integrity and approval of family.)

 

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About our books
Stories from New Youth Connections have been anthologized in several books by Youth Communication. Starting With I (Persea Books, 1997) is a collection of personal essays first published in NYC; in addition,
The Struggle to Be Strong: True Stories By Teens About Resilence
(Free Spirit, 2000), Things Get Hectic: Teens Write About the Violence That Surrounds Them (Simon& Schuster, 1998) and Out With It: Gay and Straight Teens Write About Homosexuality (Youth Communication, 1996) feature stories from NYC as well as from Represent, our other teen-written magazine.
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