NYC-Feature Story

The Talk: Is Sexting Sassy or Stupid?

By By Sex Ed, NYC Teen Columnist on Sex and Sexual Health

Names have been changed.

Did you know you could be charged with child pornography for sending naked photos of yourself to your boyfriend or girlfriend? As crazy as that sounds, it’s true. Possessing or distributing sexually suggestive (nude or semi-nude) images of someone under 18 is illegal, no matter who’s doing it.


	Health Class Activity: Cyber Safety and Sexting

Even though several teens have been prosecuted recently for sending skin-bearing photos of themselves electronically—or “sexting”—it remains a common practice. A recent study revealed that one in five American teenagers has sexted, and conversations in the NYC newsroom back up that statistic. Below, two of our writers give their take on the sexting phenomenon.

Sven says: What’s the big deal?

Last year, after a few weeks of dating, my girlfriend offered to send me some keepsake photos of herself. I told her that she should and she sent me a close-up of her showing off her underwear. She looked great and I promptly showed the photo to my friends for bragging rights. However, I didn’t mention that I’d sent her a nude picture back when she asked me to match her investment. I didn’t want my friends to think I was whipped.

Sharing her picture backfired when she called and a friend answered my phone. She asked my friend if I’d ever shown him a photo of her. To my horror, he told her that the only picture he’d seen was of her ass.

She had trusted me to keep it to myself and she was angry. I promised I wouldn’t show the photo to anyone else, and she got over it after a couple of days.

Even though it caused a fight, I still don’t think sexting is a big deal. I wouldn’t have minded if she’d showed my picture to her friends, though I don’t think she did. (She tends to be more virtuous than me.)

If you’re happy in your own skin and comfortable with your partner, it can be a good thing. Just don’t mess it up by showing off to everyone like I did; not only could you ruin your relationship, you could be arrested!

Shakira says: It’s for suckers with no self-esteem

Freshman year, my friend confided that she’d been text messaging a guy in our class one night when he asked her for a picture. She sent him one, then he sent her one of himself, and so on. As she told me the story, she showed me pictures of his face, his fully clothed body, his bare chest, and, finally, his penis.

Throughout her phone slideshow, she never showed or described the pictures she had sent him. But I immediately caught on. I don’t usually judge my friends, but I was disappointed that she would share those types of images with someone.

Sexting can result in public humiliation, like it did for one Massachusetts girl whose photo was passed around to 100 phones before police got involved. Maybe worse, several teens have been prosecuted for sending or receiving texts. For example, earlier this year three Pennsylvania girls were charged with disseminating child porn for sexting their boyfriends. The boys were charged with possession.

Even if you’re not worried about getting in trouble, you should ask yourself why you’re sexting. We teens like competition. For some—probably guys more than girls—that means accumulating as many suggestive images as possible on your phone’s memory card. For others, it means showing you’re not afraid to do something daring. I think at least the girls who send “sexts” want to look like bad chicks; they think this will help them get or keep a boyfriend. It’s a competition for attention.

But even if sexting gets you attention from your peers, it’s for all the wrong reasons. At best, you’ll be acknowledged for your looks. I’d rather be acknowledged for deeper qualities.

Several times, guys have asked me for intimate pictures through text or instant message, but I’ve never sent them. My self-esteem is high enough to wave the boys’ demands away with a flick of my wrist. My friends and family make me feel loved, so I know I don’t have to do anything I’ll regret just to get a couple of eyeballs on me.

No teen should have to send sexts to feel good about himself or herself.

For information, forums, and advice on navigating relationships in the digital world, visit thatsnotcool.com.

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