Nuts for Brains
Mom made me eat a nasty dried fruit and nut mixture

By Zaineb Nadeem

When I was growing up, my mom made me eat a nasty, smelly mixture called panjeeri. It's made out of dried fruits and nuts like crushed almonds, raisins, fried pistachios, pecans, chick peas and big red nuts from my country, Pakistan. According to my mother it makes your memory sharp.

At first when I heard my grandmother tell Mom to make it, when I was 11, I thought it was going to be good because it has nuts in it. I like peanuts, almonds and pistachios. I like the taste they leave in my mouth even when I'm done eating.

Smelled Like Rotten Bread

But my disappointment came soon. I was sitting on my bed with the blanket on my legs, watching a musical program on TV, when my mom came in carrying a white plate and a spoon. She put four tablespoons of panjeeri on the plate and handed it to me.

A disgusting smell entered my nostrils. It smelled like rotten bread mixed with mud in the rainy season. I made a nasty face.

I had been smelling this in my house while the mixture was being prepared. It is a very hard process. All the nuts have to be ground up. Some, like pistachios, have to be fried, and the chick peas have to be heated in a pan before grinding. There was no electric grinder so my mom did it by hand, mashing the nuts with a mortar and pestle.

I thought the odor would go away soon, but unfortunately it stayed forever-I can smell it even today when I think of this.

The mixture even looked terrible. It was brown with green particles in it and looked like farm soil.

Mom Had to Eat It Too

But I took a bite of it anyway, because I still expected it to be delicious. That was when the glass of my hopes broke. It turned out to be the worst thing I have ever tasted.

I had to chew it first, which was the worst part, and then swallow it. The taste was like eating sugar mixed up with some rotten stuff. It was sweet, but had the taste of ghee, a kind of oil used in Pakistan that's made from butter. It also tasted a little like the almonds but the other tastes overwhelmed them.

"I don't want to eat it," I protested. But my mom forced me, saying I had to eat it so that I'd be a smarter student in class. Mom told me that she used to eat it too, because her father used to force her.

She told me that parents in Pakistan often give their children this mixture so they'll do better in school. I always wanted to be the best I could be, so I thought that if the mixture was helpful I must eat it.

One Einstein Is Enough

I ate that mixture every night with my glass of milk for two full years. Finally my mom stopped making it. When I didn't get it one night, I thought my mom forgot to give it to me. But I was afraid that if I asked her about it, she'd make it again, so I stayed quiet.

I figured she didn't have time or might have just thought I didn't need it anymore. I felt so free after it was finished, knowing I didn't have to eat it for the rest of my life.

Recently, I asked my mom why she doesn't make me eat panjeeri anymore. She told me that I am smart enough and we don't want one more Albert Einstein or William Shakespeare in our house.

Today I am doing well in all my classes. I don't know how much panjeeri contributed to me being an excellent student, but it made me realize how much my mom cares about me succeeding. She went through the hard process of making that mixture just so I could be smarter. And I will continue doing my best so I don't have to go through the misery of eating it again.

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